Wednesday, August 30, 2017

One Day at a Time: Trying to move forward

For those of you who might not know, my wife and best friend, Donna, passed away on Aug. 13th of this year.  To say it was a tragedy doesn't even come close to capturing how this has effected me and the rest of her family. To those who knew her, Donna was a force to be reckoned with.  Until the very end she was as active as her health would allow and was making plans for the future after I retired this coming December.  We had some adventures planned and I'm sure they would have been amazing.

People, who I know mean well, keep asking me how I'm doing.  There are two answers to that question.  There's the one I always give, which is the one they want to hear.  Basically what you see in the title of the post. "I'm getting by one day at a time."  It makes them feel good I believe and that usually ends the conversation.  The other is one I keep to myself and is the real answer. I'm in a very dark place, one darker and deeper than the one that Donna rescued me from all those years ago.  If not for Kristina and Sarah, I'm not sure I'd really want to 'move on' as I see nothing out there.

Maybe, if I had faith or belief it would be different.  I could pin my hope on some future date when there is some grand reunion in the sky.  I call bullshit on all that and at this point don't care who knows it.
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